Before a Heart Heals
This poem is about the damage no one notices in how people treat you after the breakup is over.
The worst thing
about seeing people?
They ask
how I’m doing.
But aren’t actually
asking me.
They want me to say
”I’m okay”
to stroke their ego
for being
a good Samaritan.
But if I answered honestly?
They’d buckle under
the stress.
Want to fix
what can’t
be mended
in a simple
conversation.
They can’t just
sit with me
in the mud
of my
fluctuating
emotions.
No,
that’s not the worst.
The worst?
They always,
always,
bring him up
in conversation.
I can't fathom why.
But every time
I try to converse
they always poke
that bear
and it has
teeth
but it’s my fault
for baring them.
They say,
”You should be
over it
by now.”
According
to their
stopwatches,
enough time
has passed.
I should
be able
to talk
about him
as neutrally
as I explain
what I had
for lunch.
But, I can’t.
So, I
hide inside
my self.
Where I speak
to no one.
Not a soul.
No one to
remind me
of him.
Just my earbuds,
headphones,
and
science journals
in the
darkest crevice
of my room.
Alone,
I lick my
open sores.
Thank you so much for reading! This is the second part of a trilogy. You can find the first one here named When a Heartbreaks.
Ah I love how you covered that sense of grief and the loneliness, even with people around you because they’re over it.
Well done 🥰
Glad you posted Arial. People don't know how to respond to someone in grief! Sometimes what we need the most is for someone just to listen, not give advice. So much of what I write about is when I've been in grief and writing poetry is what saves me!
I wanted to ask you why you said this is part of a trilogy. What if you need to write more? When my dog died I decided I was going to write honestly from my heart, every time I needed to, whatever I was feeling on that day, whether I was heartbroken, or angry, or one day I even wrote about meeting him in heaven. It may have been weird but I promised I would write whatever was true that day. I ended up with 7 poems when it was all done, and it documents my journey through that time.